Wine, Belly Buttons, and
Strange Attractors

I was at a workshop on mathematical modelling. There was only one other woman in the class. After we were done for the day, she and I went to the pool, claimed lounge chairs, and spent the evening drinking wine. At one point, we were looking at (trying to focus on) our stomachs. She asked (slurred) “How would we model a belly button?”

“A Torus Attractor function,” I replied (slurping more wine).

“No, a Strange Attractor,” she argued.

I looked at her belly. It was true; she had two belly buttons.

We had stumbled across a sobriety test for nerds.

Love and Mismatched Socks


mismatched socks

I am always looking for ways to save time, so during boot season I don’t sort socks; I just pull two out and put them on because nobody sees them anyway. I used to have a boyfriend who got irritated by my mismatched socks. One day I came home and found that he had gone into my sock drawer and matched them up for me.

It was very touching.

I started to wear matched socks to make him happy. (All relationships require compromise.) Then, one day, he told me that my socks were supposed to match my outfit.

It was a fashion epiphany.  He showed me my sock drawer, which was now sorted by color.

Since I am always looking for ways to save time, I got rid of my boyfriend.